The Importance of Routines on Emotional Regulation
When our minds and bodies are tired and life looks differently than we expect, regulating our emotions can be a challenge. Children can be particularly sensitive to unexpected changes when they are tired or have not been taught emotional regulation. When we don’t know what to expect from day to day or hour by hour, our minds struggle to process our emotions. Setting up a consistent routine for your children is key in helping them manage their own emotional regulation. Additionally, preparing our children for expected changes can allow them to process what is to come. Here are some ways to provide consistent routines, and how to talk about changes both expected and unexpected.
1 Learn Emotional Regulating Strategies
They say if you stay prepared, you don’t have to get prepared. Learning ways to help your child regulate their emotions, can increase their ability to regulate when they are under stress. Some examples are: naming feelings, deep breathing, gratitude, journaling, mindfulness. Teaching your child these strategies will set them up for success. In my years as a school counselor, I spent much of my time teaching students how to regulate their emotions and I came to appreciate how important this was.
2 Consistent Bedtime
Protecting bedtime and allowing your child to get the sleep they need is key to setting them up for success the next day. School age children need 9-12 hours of sleep a night. Providing a safe sleep environment without distractions that allows your child to get this rest, can increase emotional regulation and reduce anxiety. (Deep sleep may help treat anxiety) As a mom, I understand how hard it can be to keep a consistent bedtime, but I've also found how important it is in helping my children regulate their emotions.
3 Set Expectations
Letting your child know what is in store for the day can help them prepare for what is to come and can reduce anxiety. For example, talking to your child about an upcoming doctor's appointment will help them mentally prepare for that event. This is especially helpful when it comes to whether or not they will be getting vaccinations. This concept can be applied to any area of your child’s life where anxieties might be heightened due to unknown circumstances.
4 Be Consistent in Your Responses
Part of providing a consistent routine for your child is ensuring that how you respond to your child is positive, calm and consistent. If you are emotionally dysregulated and your child does not know how you will respond to them, this will cause fear and anxiety to build.
5 Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About Change
Change is hard for everyone. Don’t be afraid to talk about how you feel about a particular change in your life with your child. When something unexpected happens, talk to your child about how they are feeling and what you can do to make it better. Your child may react in unexpected ways to major life changes, but talking about it can improve their overall well-being, increase communications with your child, and help them to regulate their emotions.
Change happens. It's a natural part of life which we must adapt to. It may not always be easy, but by learning emotional regulation strategies, getting enough sleep, setting routines and expectations we can help both ourselves and our children thrive through good times and bad.
