Part 2: How Much Is Too Much?
In the previous blog, we covered how to determine if therapy is right for you, the energy needed and how consistency is important. Thinking through these can help provide the best opportunity for both parties to be open, committed and honest. We also covered how therapy varies from seasons to season. There will be times of intensive or proactive work, and times with only occasional check ins. While there is often an “open door” policy or “once a client always a client” mentality to therapy, the question arises...
“How much is too much?”
There are clients who wish they could get in more therapy time, but life, finances and responsibilities make it hard. At the other end, there are those who come in perhaps more often than necessary.
In general, I appreciate a client who is committed and intentional about coming in, it usually allows the relationship to build faster, and makes the growth more productive. However, coming too much could cross over into being unhelpful or even harmful.
A few concerns arise as too much therapy could lead to:
someone relying too heavily on the need for over thinking and over analyzing
over attending to your emotions
not building the necessary skills to walk through hardships, to solve problems on their own, and to build resilience
giving too much weight to their therapists words, while not trusting their own judgment, or the wisejudgment of other voices in their life
unrealistic expectations that other people in their lives should respond as their therapist would, with expert listening skills and a non balanced give and take of sharing
being too internally obsessed, and less focused on caring for others around them
a child going more often than needed, due to a parent pushing them to go
feeling crushed if the therapist makes a mistake, has to cancel a session, or recommends that it is time to stop
While these are all very real concerns and something to keep an eye on, they can and should be monitored along the way by the therapist. The client’s voice and needs do matter, but it is up to the therapist to listen and set the pace. Their job is to set the initial timeframe and relay realistic criteria based on their knowledge and skill of the process. If they notice that coming too often is actually becoming a road block to a client’s goals being met, than that should be noted and talked about.
The therapist is meant to be just one member of a person’s support system. They can offer something different than mom, a best friend, spouse, teacher, etc. Each person on the team is valuable in their own way, and can help differently in different seasons. A therapist provides a safe place to develop and grow for a determined amount of time. Ideally, the client processes what they have learned, and then moves on to apply it to their daily life, on their own or with others in their support team.
